Image: David Whittaker
Have you ever been at a conference, seminar, or committee meeting and felt like you didn’t belong? “There must be some mistake. I couldn’t possibly be on par with these people!” or, “Sooner or later, someone will find out that I’m a fraud—I don’t know anything!” But here’s the truth: you are not fooling anyone but yourself into thinking you aren’t as intelligent and talented as you really are. Imposter syndrome is a term coined by psychologists to describe these feelings of inadequacy and the inability of individuals to accept their accomplishments. There is a high incidence of imposter syndrome in STEM graduate student populations, with especially high prevalence in women and minorities. So, how do we tackle these feelings?
First, build yourself up. I’m not telling you to go around acting like an entitled brat, but give yourself credit where it is due. Did your western blot look particularly good today? Give yourself a pat on the back. You’re allowed to feel good about the little things you do, and you should recognize them for what they are. Believe it or not, the things you accomplish every day and take for granted (running gels, writing, or cloning for example) are techniques and skills that many can’t grasp. You worked hard to make these tasks seem easy, and you deserve credit for that. When those thoughts of fraud come to your mind, remind yourself of all the things you’ve done to get where you are. You did not get here by accident, but through a combination of things you did through your perseverance, dedication, and intelligence. Reminding yourself of these things is, of course, easier said than done, but so is a PhD, and you’re already well on your way to having one of those.
Don’t isolate yourself. Imposter syndrome can make you feel alone. When you believe your accomplishments are happenstance, you tend to isolate yourself to avoid being discovered. Fight this urge and join activities of fellow graduate students at events such as the JMBGSA Post Exam Holiday Party on December 14! Open up to a particularly close lab mate or fellow grad student and let them know how you’re feeling. Chances are they’ve felt the exact way you do at some point in their life and can sympathize. Realizing that you’re not alone in the struggle of imposter syndrome makes a big difference in the fight against it.
Be realistic (not pessimistic) about your weaknesses. Cut yourself some slack. So what if you have to look into a question a committee member asked you? You’re a graduate student, not Wikipedia. You can only read so many papers in a day, and not everyone has a perfect memory. Remember that people learn in different ways. For example, physically doing an experiment and analyzing the reasoning behind the protocols executed comes naturally to me, but absorbing information off a page takes much more effort. Everyone has something they struggle with and the important thing is to recognize that weakness and work on it, not dwell on it.
When all else fails, make sure you’re on the same page as your advisor. If you’re struggling with whether you’re dealing with imposter syndrome or a case of just not being cut out for graduate school, talk to your advisor. After all, if you’re not worth your PI’s time and money, chances are they’ll be honest with you. The Rutgers IDP packet includes a checklist of attributes that both you and your PI can use to evaluate your progress. Ask them to fill it out, and then compare it to your own. If you’re suffering from imposter syndrome, you may be surprised at how well your PI rated you on things you thought were your weaknesses.
For further help dealing with imposter syndrome, visit your university’s counseling services. I sincerely hope this helps even one reader out there who is experiencing these negative thoughts. Remember the points I’ve emphasized here, keep your head up, and continue working to achieve your goals. You are the only one who thinks you don’t belong!